Congratulations sue.zee.q!! You are now officially an RV'er!!
It is very cool you had a resource you can trust, (Your Uncle) to run you through set up and operations of your new trailer. Thatís huge!!
I hear ya on how heavy those hitches can be; just the hitch head of our equal-i-zer is about 75 lbs! I think it is a very good idea to hook up the trailer and take it to where you purchased the hitch and have them demonstrate how to properly set it up. They may have some suggestions for hooking it up that make it easier than it first appears. If they won't help, look in your area for an RV club, a KOA, or RV dealer, call them up and ask if they can help, if they have intro classes, or if they can point you in the right direction. One thing I have found, RV'ers are an extremely helpful group and they like to share their knowledge.
I understand the desire to just return the hitch and get an easier one, but I would ask you research it a bit before deciding. Every one I have looked at has strengths and weaknesses. When you took it out for a drive, did you get on the highway, and drive at 60 to 70 mph, or was it on surface streets at lower speeds? The reason I ask is because the effects of swaying due to wind buffeting, changing lanes and etc really show themselves at highway speeds. At lower speeds, 30 to 50 mph, the trailer will be very stable. I understand sway control and weight distribution hitches are more complicated, but the benefit they offer once set up and hooked up properly are tremendous! Anyone else out there with a T160 that can provide some suggestions?
Trailer Brakes. To see if they are working, find a section of flat ground, like a parking lot or quiet street. Roll down the drivers window, engage the trailer brake with the slide on the trailer brake controller mounted in your Pilot, this is accomplished by sliding the spring loaded lever in fully, then put your foot on the brakes and put the Pilot in Drive. Remove your foot from the brake but keep the slide on the controller fully pushed. You will feel the rear of the Pilot drop slightly, hear the hitch tighten, but your Pilot and trailer should not roll at all. Now release the slide, you should hear the brakes release, and you should start rolling. After rolling a few feet, slide the lever back in slowly and you should feel the trailer start to drag the pilot back to a stop. The purpose of the brakes is to slow the mass of the trailer, but more importantly, its to keep the trailer behind you during hard braking. During normal operations, you should feel them initially grab and help stop, once operating correctly, you will know when they are working and when they are not. There are adjustments on the controller that increase the force and sensitivity of the trailer brakes. If you have questions, ask your Uncle, the people that sold you the hitch, or find a local club, or Fun Finder Dealer near you and ask them.
I hope this helps, any other questions just shout em out!!
Good Luck and let us know how it goes.